Your child's pretend friend: Are imaginary friends healthy? - MyFoxTallahassee.com

Four-year-old Lauren and her friend, Sadie, were inseparable. Like all best friends, they had their arguments, but they always made up. Sadie often brought her dog, Walk, along to play.

But Lauren's mom wasn't able to see Sadie or Walk. That's because they were imaginary. Lauren was filling her in on all the details.

Myths about pretend friends

If your child has an imaginary friend, you may have worried that this type of play is unhealthy. Some parents fear that it means their child:

• Is too shy to make friends or is unable to make friends for some other reason
• Can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy
• May have a mental illness

In rare situations, these beliefs may be valid. But most of the time, quite the opposite is true. Studies show that children with imaginary companions are often:

• Able to make friends just as easily as other children - sometimes more easily
• Less shy than many children who don't have imaginary friends
• Quick to say that their imaginary friends are "just pretend"

In Lauren's case, she played with her imaginary friends less and less often as she got older. Finally, Sadie and Walk moved to Alabama, never to be seen or heard from again.

Who is most likely to have an imaginary friend?

According to studies, between 48 percent and 65 percent of children have imaginary friends. Almost always, this pal is of the same gender as the child. Children who have imaginary friends are usually:

• Between the ages of 3 and 9.
• More likely to be girls than boys during the preschool years. Little boys prefer to imagine that they are super heroes or some other fictional characters.
• Just as likely to be boys as girls during school-age years. By the age of 6 or 7, boys tend to stop pretending to be someone else and create imaginary friends instead.
• Firstborn or only children.
• Very creative.

Healthy imaginations, healthy kids

Experts seem to agree that creating friends is normal and healthy for children. It is almost always a positive experience. One study of university students revealed that those who had imaginary friends as children went on to become more creative and achievement-oriented than those who did not.

Research has shown that children with pretend friends are more likely than others to:

• Tell rich and detailed stories
• Among boys: Speak more often and for longer periods of time than boys who did not have pretend friends
• Among preschoolers: Have advanced receptive vocabularies (words young children can understand, but may not be able to say themselves)
• Show an increased ability to express their thoughts to adults
• Become strong readers
• Grow up to be good communicators

Parents and imaginary friends

If you've wondered whether it's a good idea to encourage your child's friendship with a pretend friend, go ahead and join in the fun. Children love it when grown-ups share in their imaginary play.

Like Sadie, your child's pretend friend will someday pack up and move away - and your child will end up having gained from the experience. So if your little guy invites an imaginary friend to dinner, go ahead and set an extra place at the table. Just be careful not to sit on him.